Ten Ways To Tell If Your Significant Other Is A Werewolf
1. You notice that a dog has been shedding all over your girlfriend or boyfriend’s bed, only to realize, that they don’t even have a dog!
2. If they refuse to socialize on nights with a full moon, that is a major hint that the significant pother in question may be a werewolf. Or very paranoid about weirdos out on a full moon.
3. If their arms are far too hairy to be considered “normal,” one could suspect that they are a werewolf, –though, if this is a girlfriend with hairy arms, you might just want to pretend you didn’t notice…
4. If the boyfriend or girlfriend tells you that “there is something you should know…”, then breaks into a dance routine with a bunch of zombies, you should worry, especially if they go on to talk about a weird experience they had while backpacking across England.
5. Razor sharp teeth may be an indication of werewolfism.
6. Going along with the teeth, if their nails are extremely long and sharp, they may be infected.
7. If it is a girlfriend we are talking about, you should be worried if she has whiskers anyway, but if it is a guy and he has whiskers that do not resemble those of a mustache, be worried.
8. If you get your significant other a piece of silver jewelry, and suddenly, they throw a huge temper tantrum, –or they act as if they were burned, and never touch it or wear it, there maybe werewolfism present.
9. Making unusual growling noises regularly, whether sleeping, or awake, is another indication of werewolfism.
10. If said boyfriend or girlfriend seems to have a relationship with canines that is maybe a little unconventional, or extreme with dogs, chases cars for no reason, or barks and runs after cats, you may have a werewolf for a significant other.
Is it time to start shopping for Alpo?
